Human beings often put up self-protective walls around themselves after a situation.
This episode will tackle how you can create these walls unknowingly, limitations from achieving success in your life, and how you can shutter them in order to live a fulfilled life.
You see, when I began building my brand, I didn’t merely wake up being successful. It wasn’t a walk in the park.
Shut off your mind to motivational speakers telling you that achieving something worthwhile is easy. You know why? That makes you develop a weak momentum.
Let me tell you, bluntly; it’s not. You will fail several times. Most of your friends and clients will doubt you.
Harmful doubts and disappointments will come in to fill the void.
Guess what? Most entrepreneurs don’t go beyond this point.
You throw in the towel and quit. You feel like a loser… frustrated and questioning your efforts in every aspect of life; after all, this was your third attempt.
The rejection and frustration slowly create walls around you, which prevents you from ever making it online again.
When a new value-packed course pops up in your Facebook newsfeed, you report it as spam and abandon the belief that people are making six figures after taking that course.
Are you in that state? I can imagine the frustration.
It has happened to me
In fact, several times I began to doubt myself. I remember saying to myself, these coaches are terrible and don’t deliver what I wanted, I could even learn most of these things on YouTube.
When I began working with several brands, I didn’t feel I could deliver precisely what they wanted since their expectations were high. I felt inferior over some gurus in my space.
When I failed to get the result that some clients wanted, I didn’t feel confident to take another job. I just wanted to quit.
Maybe this wasn’t meant for me.
After a few months, I was on it again—this time with new energy and determination to take me to the skies. I had a new coach, a robust team, and a few clients to begin with.
I also had a targeted tribe that I was mentoring. By shining the light to others, I got much more.
After a few months, my brand hit six figures in revenue. One of the campaigns I was managing (Stancewars) had 5 million views before we launched any ad [provide more details]
Guess what I did? I demolished the walls of self-rejection and began developing useful business and personal relationships. Relationships are built on trust (I talked about it in episode 2) trust drives revenue for your business.
I had to work on my mindset and talk with mentors before I could subdue my fears of rejection and inferiority. I had to demolish my walls literally.
I know that sometimes these walls help a great deal to forget certain memories/experiences, but as time passes, you need to begin to understand how they are affecting you so you can grow as a person. Allow for the gradual growth of healthy, meaningful relationships. You need to have access to your emotions for that to happen.
People with self-destructive walls are either of the following:
- They become emotionally shut down
They lack meaningful relationships with people and put up self-protective walls around them. Without this essential aspect in business, you are more likely to lose your customers because you won’t treat them right.
- They always see the negative side of the story.
They become more self-conscious to negative emotions and always see the one thing someone didn’t do right.
In my case above, the courses were solid and working for some people, but I had my self-doubt and rejection in me, which prevented me from moving the needle.
You can break these walls
Would you want to break these walls and begin building strong supportive relationships with people in your circle and turn your business around?
Here are the tips:
- Accept the situation
Acceptance is the key to healing. Accept that you are where you are now. Accept that it’s screwing you over and preventing you from getting what you want in life. Don’t take it personally because the same situation happened to most men and women you admire in your niche.
Acceptance gives you peace with situations. Even though you know that it’s terrible for you, the calmness allows you to strategize and plan properly rather than merely overreacting.
- Develop the will
If you have the will, you can find the way. According to Brian Tracy, one of the celebrated life coaches, the intention gives you power and confidence to charge away any negative energy flowing into your mind and building self-defensive walls. Having the will to do something forged into a robust and formidable cause is terrific.
You need a strong will if you have to build a significant momentum that will shatter those walls. Let your will rest on the fact that letting go off the walls is the key to business success.
- Talk it out
I know you want to do it alone. It’s okay. You are the master of your destiny. A considerable part of that transformation will require your strong willpower. However, you can achieve significant results faster with a coach.
Barry advises that everyone needs a coach. It would be great if you had someone to keep you accountable and consistent. A coach will help you to set clear goals and achieve so much more than you could have made on your own. I can attest to this because I’m achieving incredible results working with my mentor.
- Shape your thoughts
Once you have the will and someone to help you break down those walls, the next step is to shape your thoughts. Align your thinking with what you want in life. Whatever you always think about is in direct correlation with your actions.
Begin by visualizing yourself out of a situation. In our case, see yourself on top of your niche solving challenges that your audience faces, and building a powerful brand. Visualization brings forth energy, which helps to shape your thoughts.
Why do you think people build walls? They do so to:
- Protect their self-esteem
- Protect their emotions
- Protect their individualism
But it shouldn’t be the case. If you want to free yourself from these limitations and stop feeling empty inside, take a look at what you are doing currently. What is preventing you from experiencing the real joy of meaningful relationships with your clients and customers? Identify that and follow the steps above to break those walls.
Build your limitations around your core values. These can give you peace of mind; knowing that you are always living your life in harmony with your values and virtues.
Understand that success is 90% reaction and 10% substance. How you react to situations will determine your fate in life.
So, begin today. Bring down those walls!
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